Office Coversations - SMH

I was talking to a co-worker of mine and apparently sexy knees are in. Sexy KNEES. I wasn't sure where to go from there but it went something like this:

Co-worker: "I need to find an exercise that tones my knees."
Me: "Your KNEES? Don't you mean your quads, hamstrings and calves... i.e. your LEGS?" isn't your knee kind of like your elbow? if your knee looks fat, it's probably b/c your legs are, in fact, fat or out of shape. But I don't know, that's just my thinking... (and by YOU I was not referring to her, I was THINKING in general)
Co-worker: "No... I'm talking about this area right here," as she runs her fingers around her knee caps. (clearly not wanting to believe that the only way to get your knees to look better, is to get your entire leg to look better, which would mean actually working out)
Me: (scratching my head) "I'm pretty sure that IF there WAS an exercise that tones your knees, Kate Middleton knows what it is." (but then again, she's probably working on her overall fitness by the looks of things.)
Co-worker: "You think she has a blog about what she does to get her knees to look that good? or maybe there's a procedure just to tone up a little bit? You think?" (WHAT?!?!)
Me: (NO, I don't, actually, but I'll play along.... yes, I'm a jerk) "Google it, I bet there's something out there.... Let me know what you find," as I walk back to my cubicle very, very disheartened (for many reasons)....

.....Although that conversation on the surface seemed somewhat shallow, it was oddly informative. I mean, have you seen Kate Middleton's knees?!? If you clicked on the link earlier in this post you have, and my knees.... Well, let's just hope that sexy knees is a quick fad, that runs it's course as quickly as Los del Rio and the Macarena (if this song is played at my wedding, I'll puke). But for some reason sexy knees seem way more appealing than the Macarena, so I may be out of luck. As if us ladies didn't have enough to be self-conscious about, now we have to worry about our knees too. Thank you Co-worker, for making me aware of this new *trend* and giving me one more short coming to own up to (because I didn't have enough).

Leg extensions and lunges are my new best friends. #whoamikidding_idontcare

Things I hear at work....

For the most part, the fact that I work predominantly with people that are at least 20 years my senior, goes unnoticed from day to day tasks. But it's moments like today that it's impossible remind me, I am not amongst my peers.



I was standing talking to one co-worker while another came up to join the conversation. She let out a big sneeze and I did what normal people do and said "Bless you." Her response?? "Thank you. Goodness! That just made me wet myself." What? Excuse me? Did she just say her sneeze caused her to "wet" herself?? She did. And I could not hide the fact that I was 1. shocked that she admitted that, 2. baffled as to how that can happen and 3. humored at the fact that she wet her pants because she sneezed so hard.



My co-workers then went on to say how that happens to them all the time and sometimes when they cough hard enough. By now, I'm literally on the floor laughing and they tell me something about how I have that to look forward to... But I couldn't really hear them I was laughing so hard. These are the types of conversations that I am not-so-gently reminded that I work with old, um, "developed" people BUT I love them and their uncontrolled bladders. I don't get to hear stuff like that when I hang out with my friends.... at least, not yet.

Vanilla and Baking air freshener does not belong in the bathroom!

That's it, I can't take it anymore.... Every afternoon I walk into the bathroom at some point and get hit with a waft of Febreeze's Vanilla and Baking sent mixed with, um well, I'll just say bathroom smells. Needless to say, the myth that women's #2 smells like roses is just that... a myth. As the combination of smells hits me when I walk in the restroom door, I literally want to yak! I mean really, who in the world thought it would be a good idea to use the sent of something we eat and enjoy smelling to cover the odorous fumes that come out of a bathroom. And it's not like the Febreeze covers the smell, it just mixes with it and ends up smelling like a vanilla covered fart. Lovely.

I have been meaning to blog about this for some time now because it just amazes me every time I walk in the bathroom that someone thought they were being a "good neighbor" by bringing this nasty combination to our restroom. The fumes most mess with my memory (or maybe it's the lack of oxygen to my brain as I am holding my breath) because I always forget to sit down and blog about it by the time I get back to my desk. Am I the only one that is revolted by the mishmash of smells? I can't be! Unless everyones' noses have fallen off their face, someone has to be in accord with me. But I've had enough.... the problem is solved. SOMEONE accidentally knocked the aerosol spray in the trash can ;) People can be so carless someimes. I guess it's safe to say, so long are the days of the Vanilla and Baking sent in the Summit Center 1st floor bathroom.... Praise be to God.