Ready or Not....

"We must move away from asking God to take care of the things that are breaking our hearts to praying about the things that are breaking God's heart."

--Margaret Gibb

Words. They are so powerful. I felt like someone sucker punched me right in the gut while reading these ever-so-eloquent, yet piercing words. This Maragret Gibb character has some nerve, doesn't she? I mean, I wasn't even looking, and most certainly wasn't ready for her one, two combo! I'd like to meet her some day and give her a piece of my mind. For now, a simple note on my blog will have to do.

Dear Ms Margaret Gibb,

Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for your heart. I look forward to the day, that those words, and that prayer are the sentiment of my heart. And until that moment, I'll just keep reminding myself that this world does not revolve around me and praying for a new renewed heart and mind.

Love, KT

Q_TP #3 - God Save Us All

‎"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

-- George Washington

Now there's a thought America. Republicans... Democrats.... Lay Citizens.... SEEK TRUTH AND PURSUE IT STEADILY. (I should add Media* to my charge, but we all know how well that would go over) I wonder what kind of difference that could make, if we all actually got off facebook for long enough to seek out truth and then pursue it steadily. It's an interesting thought actually. If, instead of allowing the media to control what we believe, we actually researched and studied the historical data for ourselves. I think we would ALL be surprised at what we could accomplish, together, as a nation undivided.

*does anyone feel a tad nervous when watching anything about politics on TV. And by a tad nervous I mean, pee-your-pants scared that our country has seen it's best years and our generation has nothing to look forward to but the perishing of a country that use to be something special? Just wondering.

To worry, or not to worry: Q-TP#2

‎"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit out impatience, our lack of grace towards others, or our tight grip of control." -Francis Chan

Que dramatic scene of girl overreacting (about anything, you name it, we've most likely overreacted about it) to her friend and then her friend hauling off and whacking her in the face to make her stop. *Deep breath. Thank you, Megan, for the slap in the face... I needed that.

My younger sister slapped this quote on my wall (fbook wall, is there any other?) yesterday and it stopped me in my tracks. For those of you who know me well, you know that I can be SOOOOO good at worrying when I want to be. I'm not one who stresses, per say, but worrying... yeah, that is my thing. And the things that I choose to worry about are the CRAZIEST of things. Not normal everyday things like, "why is everyone starring at me? is the back of my skirt tucked into my leggings again??" or "did I leave the house unlocked when I left for work?" I worry about freak accident stuff and things that I really have NO control over but would cause a great deal of pain or discomfort for me or someone I love, whether physical or emotional. I won't go into everything that I worry about but here is a clue... I couldn't have been older than 10 years old when I specifically remember crying myself to sleep because I was scared one of my siblings was going to fall through the ice at the pond near our house that winter. Or another time when Mom and Dad could not get home fast enough because I was convinced that UFO's were hovering around our house.

Okay, yes, I've stopped worrying about UFO's (eh-hem), but that's not my point. My point is that I am about to embark on a big, new, scary step in my life because it is going to require me to leave a lot of the things that give me comfort. And there is a lot that I COULD worry about. After all, there are a lot of unknowns and a lot of different directions my life could possibly take right now. But I am going to choose to trust rather than to worry. I can be confident that as I walk forward in this whole decision-making process that His Spirit inside of me will nudge me if I am headed in the wrong direction. Don't get me wrong, this does not mean that I'm putting my options in a hat and blindly picking my future. But I'm researching, talking to people, and pursuing doors that seem to be opening as I seek answers. Not to forget, looking at my past to see what passions God has placed inside of me from an early age and how I can pursue and nurture these passions in order to be who God has called me to be in the midst of His story.

Sure I could worry about things like, if I left this job to go back to school I may not EVER have the job security I have now.... And even in saying that I realize that I far too often make God out to be way smaller than he truly is because really my job, my benefits, flexibility and SENSE of security could all be wiped clean today, and then what would I be clinging to? So the quote_to ponder came right on time. I don't want pseudo security... I want God's security. Worry less, trust more....

Quote_To_Ponder: Q-TP #1

Words. They can so easily effect (or is it affect, I never know) me. They can encourage and they can destruct... They can ease my spirit after a day full of mishaps. Or hurt my feelings worse than being sucker punched in the gut. Who ever said "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me," was FULL OF IT. Who were they kidding?? It can be the way words are strung together that strike something in me. As they roll off the tongue they can sound so good together (in a song, poem etc) or the meaning of those words may pierce my heart with an unforgettable mark. Which ever the case may be, words carry weight in my world. In my effort to record my daily musings and remember things that move me I am NOT starting a Quote of the Day, for the simple fact that a "quote of the day" SOUNDS overwhelming to me. To think about posting a quote or words that strike my fancy daily is just. too. much. Instead I will just post a quote to ponder. A Q-TP, if you will!

The other day I was reading something by Beth Moore and her words hit me hard.
"If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we'll let Him finish the work. I fear, however, that we are so attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner."

How many times have I settled with bearable rather than beauty? How often am I impatient and unwilling to stay attentive or open to what God is trying to do because it hurts? PUKE. More often than I'd like to admit. I don't like being uncomfortable or pain, whether physical or emotional. Who does? But sometimes I think I fear it more than I trust God and His (greater) plan. I long for redemption and when I don't get it at my first cry for relief, I settle for "bearable" rather than sitting in that tension of my soul aching and trusting that God is good and His glory is being revealed in some way or another. Maybe not in the way that I envisioned it to unfold but in a beautifully surprising, katie-is-not-the-center-of-the-universe type of way. I too easily forget that choosing God in a broken world means that I constantly must remind myself that my comfort is not the priority. That I am not the priority. God's glory being revealed IS the priority, and THAT is a beautiful thing when we are open and given the opportunity to witness it. I'm hoping to grasp and put to action the heart of that thought consistently before the end of this lifetime. But until then, I'm thankful God gives me more than my fair share of chances of choosing more of Him and less of me. Over and over and over again. Even if it hurts sometimes.