The Smallest Decisions...

Most of you know that I sleep VERY well. I normally don't like to brag, but I am really REALLY good at it. I mean, yes, I sleep with ear plugs because I like complete silence when I drift off into my peaceful dreamworld. "Horizontal narcolepsy," is what my brother-in-law has named it. As soon as I am in a full horizontal position, I. Am. Out. That is, unless I have something on my mind.... not just something though, it takes more than just tomorrow's "to-do" list (I am not a mom yet, remember? my to-do list can change with the wind if I so desire... for the most part) or "did I remember to lock the door," to keep me from slumbering. You know, something like a boy, or in this case, WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE COME THIS SEPTEMBER.

This is a BIG decision... and I'm not particularly stressed about the actual decision itself, it's just my mind WILL NOT shut off when thinking about the endless possibilities. And it is SO annoying. I am trying not to rush into this decision as to carefully AND prayerfully start turning the page in this next chapter. But a few more nights of tossing and turning, may turn ugly for me. And nobody wants that. Trust me. A good friend of mine use to always say "CHALT" when making a decision.... And by that she meant never make a decision when you are Crazy (aka pms'ing and emotional), Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. I think she stole that acronym from AA and added her own twist to it... I think it's supposed to be HALT when making decisions. The C is sooooo crucial. I like her version better. But I digress.... point is, if I don't start sleeping again, I'm going to be TIRED, CRANKY and ANGRY... probably lonely too because people generally don't like to be around people who are tired, cranky and angry.

All that being said, I am excited about what's up next! Even though I am not sure what that is going to entail. It could be anything from moving to Texas (I'm not buying my boots quite yet), to going back to school and starting a new career... there's a lot of middle ground there and it's a bit daunting at times. When I think about making the decision to "at least go interview" (with some prodding from Dad) for an asst coaching position at the Naval Academy and how taking that job altered my life's course, and the way it is STILL effecting it now, I am amazed. Saying yes to an interview seemed like such a miniscule decision at the time. But it wasn't. It was life changing. For so many different reasons. And all because I went to an interview for a job that I really didn't think I wanted. This post could easily morph into a "freedom of choice" vs "predestined" debate, but that would require way more time and brain cells than I can expend right now. So I'll save that for another day (maybe). If you're reading this post and are the praying type, I would not be opposed to you asking God to give me clarity, patience, diligence (there is lots to be done) and guidance, as I walk through this process. Oh and some SLEEP would be fab! Thanks everyone!

"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever."

--Keri Russell

THINGS.I.LIKE.

Babyliss Pro Nano Titanium 1-3/4 Inch Flat Iron Straightener

I got this for Christmas (yes, this year...don't judge me) and it is incredible. It cuts the time it takes me to straighten my hair in half AND my hair actually gets straight and stays straight. It's unlike any other straightener that I've used where I have to go inch by inch, over and over every piece (that doesn't get pulled out as it rips through my hair) to get it semi-straight and then if any type of humidity hits it... forget about it. This thing is awe-some. I love it... and yes, I will be wrapping it up and opening it (from my parents) on Christmas morning. Thanks Mom and Dad! :)

Quote_To_Ponder: Q-TP #1

Words. They can so easily effect (or is it affect, I never know) me. They can encourage and they can destruct... They can ease my spirit after a day full of mishaps. Or hurt my feelings worse than being sucker punched in the gut. Who ever said "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me," was FULL OF IT. Who were they kidding?? It can be the way words are strung together that strike something in me. As they roll off the tongue they can sound so good together (in a song, poem etc) or the meaning of those words may pierce my heart with an unforgettable mark. Which ever the case may be, words carry weight in my world. In my effort to record my daily musings and remember things that move me I am NOT starting a Quote of the Day, for the simple fact that a "quote of the day" SOUNDS overwhelming to me. To think about posting a quote or words that strike my fancy daily is just. too. much. Instead I will just post a quote to ponder. A Q-TP, if you will!

The other day I was reading something by Beth Moore and her words hit me hard.
"If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we'll let Him finish the work. I fear, however, that we are so attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner."

How many times have I settled with bearable rather than beauty? How often am I impatient and unwilling to stay attentive or open to what God is trying to do because it hurts? PUKE. More often than I'd like to admit. I don't like being uncomfortable or pain, whether physical or emotional. Who does? But sometimes I think I fear it more than I trust God and His (greater) plan. I long for redemption and when I don't get it at my first cry for relief, I settle for "bearable" rather than sitting in that tension of my soul aching and trusting that God is good and His glory is being revealed in some way or another. Maybe not in the way that I envisioned it to unfold but in a beautifully surprising, katie-is-not-the-center-of-the-universe type of way. I too easily forget that choosing God in a broken world means that I constantly must remind myself that my comfort is not the priority. That I am not the priority. God's glory being revealed IS the priority, and THAT is a beautiful thing when we are open and given the opportunity to witness it. I'm hoping to grasp and put to action the heart of that thought consistently before the end of this lifetime. But until then, I'm thankful God gives me more than my fair share of chances of choosing more of Him and less of me. Over and over and over again. Even if it hurts sometimes.

Random Thought

Just for the heck of it, I checked to see when I started my 10 Day Blog Challenge (for the life of me I can't decide if "Day Blog Challenge" needs to be capitalized or not.. but I digress)..... Nov 8th was when I began. NOVEMBER 8th, people!!!

Realization numero uno - it took me almost 30 days to finish a 10 D.B.C.

Is there any wonder as to why my blog has less than a meager following?? A friend of mine today asked a group of people I was with, if anyone blogged... I said "I do!" She responded, "you do? oh wait, that's right, I think I follow you... but you don't really ever post right?" LOL... Touché, my friend.

Day 10 - Challenge Complete!

This is supposed to be the post were I finish my 10 Day Blog Challenge and get a nice big pat on the back from the blog world (or not) and then continue posting to this blog with some kind of consistency. Right? ... right. I started this blog almost as a means of communication with my family because now that we are all adults, we are kind of spread out (China to the US, so maybe "kind of" is an understatement) and I thought it was a great way to stay up on the goings on of each other's lives. And it was. I jumped on the blogging bandwagon with ideas of grandeur... the only problem was, I don't always FEEL like writing. Some days it's because I'm being lazy and other days its because to write about what's going on in my life means I actually have to think, and process. And sometimes that's just not fun.... The thinking or the processing.

I want to be better at this blogging thing. I really do. Sometimes I feel like if I had a switch that could just shut my mind off, I'd be better off because I think a lot. I analyze things that don't need to be analyzed, worry about things that can't be controlled and think of ways to control those said things. All to no avail. BUT there are days that something happens or someone's words dig their way into my heart and I find myself, my perspective changed. Then a month later, I can't exactly remember why... More often than not it seems the things that I want to remember are fleeting and hard for me to recall because I may have the world's worst memory. When I do remember some thing, a lot of times the details are foggy at best and it's like sorting through a bunch of muck. Out of necessity and a longing to grow, I NEED to get better at this... I like the idea that this is kind of turning into more than just an update for my family but somewhere I can process and record my thoughts. A place I can look back and have some sort of stream of conciseness and order to my thoughts, heart and life happenings. Like I said in my last post, I feel transition knocking at my door. I want to be able to look back on it and recall what I was feeling, how God was moving, what He was teaching me, how He was changing me, and just a record of where this escapade called life has taken me. As for the Challenge....

DAY 10: ONE confession.....

(drum roll please)

I have not shaved my legs in over two weeks. gah! It's starting to get to me.... tomorrow is a new day. I will be baby buttery smooth in the morning. Look out world, here I come!

My life... Day 9

Day 1: Ten things you want to say to ten people right now.
Day 2: Nine things about yourself that most people don't know.
Day 3: Eight things you couldn't live without.
Day 4: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day 5: Six things you wish you could change or wish you would have never done.
Day 6: Five people who mean a lot to you.
Day 7: Four turn offs.
Day 8: Three turn ons.
Day 9: Two words that describe your life right now.
Day 10: One confession

Two words, huh? That's all I get? You, my little Ten Day Challenge are really getting on my nerves. I mean, really. I'm supposed to sum up my life in two words? Did you mean two blog posts?? I think it would actually require less thought for me to just let my fingers speed away at the keyboard talking about where I am in life right now. But nooooo, you want two words. Well then, here you go, my two words that describe my life right now (am I at least allowed to explain my two words? ...yes.) Okay great, here goes:

1. Transient- Sometimes I feel like I live out of a suitcase... my job keeps me traveling and when I'm not traveling for work, I'm normally traveling to see fam/friends at least one weekend out of the month. And now my life feels particularly more transient because I have been in MD/VA for a little over 8 years (has it really been that long?) and am feeling a nudge towards movement. I don't know what that nudge is toward (ie-going back to school, moving to San Antonio next fall with my job, changing careers, or ... who knows?) but I do know it's something and right now feel like that something is calling for transition... whatever that transition may be. It's an uncomfortable feeling because I like security and knowing. But right now, I really don't know... Anything. All I know is there is a change in the air and it's going to be here in the blink of an eye so I need to be ready!

2. Overwhelmed- Do you remember when the most nerve-racking decision you had to make was who to pick up on your team for a neighborhood game of Capture the Flag? Which was in fact, a stressful situation at times. But I digress to now. NOW, I would be ever so delighted if who was on my team for Capture the Flag was my biggest concern. NOW, I get to make decision between keeping a stable job with great flexibility for my lifestyle (which would mean moving) or stepping out on faith, going back to school (which has a whole bunch of variables in itself), or getting a new job (that may or may not be as secure) here in the NOVA area. Please hear me when I say this. I am not complaining about having to make these decisions... this is life, there are always decisions to be made. But sometimes, some decisions are harder to make than others. I am thankful that I have options and the opportunity to make a decision rather than feeling backed into a corner and having a decision about my life, by means of circumstance, made for me. Trust me, I am grateful. But I am also overwhelmed. This is a big decision that will change my life for at least the next couple years but most likely more than that. I'm excited but overwhelmed too. I pray that my heart is open to God's leading and that as I walk forward in this decision, His hands are all over it and it would be clear what my next steps will be.

DAY 10 is almost here!!!!!!! :) Thanks, Meggo, for the kick in the pants to start blogging again. It may have taken me longer than 10 days to finish... but it's given me some motivation (Lord knows I need it!)

Cheeseburger Doritos.... my life just got a little better.

WHERE have you been all my life? And why couldn't someone have invented you when I was 10 so I could eat a whole bag in one sitting and not worry about still being able to fit into my wardrobe?? Seriously. I know they SOUND gross. But. They aren't. They are delicious. And I want to eat them for every meal. But. I won't. Drat. So if you walk by these in the grocery store, depending on your goals over the holiday season (to gain weight or to not gain weight), pick a bag or two of these up. or don't (if you're not trying to gain weight). But if you don't, you will be missing out!